Kill Yourself

We have all heard about people reinventing themselves or even some of us have tried.  Celebrities do it all the time.  The “old them” wasn’t working so they recreated a new persona.  People reinvent themselves all the time.  It should be looked upon as being confused or trying to be something that you are not.  It simply means that you saw something in yourself that you needed to change and you changed it.

One of the hardest things to do is point out our own flaws and imperfections.  However, being able to do so honestly is one the greatest strengths that a person can show.  What is even stronger is having the courage to say, “This needs to change.”

I refer the process of reinventing yourself as “killing yourself”.  Now I know it may seem that I am making light of suicide which is very serious, but this seems to be the only way that I can completely get my point across so that people understand.  I also must warn that this should never be done strictly for financial gain or the benefit of others.  You must want this for yourself.

When we die, everything about us is gone.  Who we were is just a memory.  When you “kill yourself”, you must have the courage to change everything about you and leave the “old you” dead in the grave.  This is why this is only recommended if you have hit a low point in your life, have experienced a life altering event or you noticed that the same undesirable consequences keep occurring in you life. 

I have killed three times.  Why twice? I am sure it had a lot to do with me maturing and realizing that what I was doing was not working for me anymore.  I killed myself at age 18, age 27 and again at age 30.  The last time will certainly be the last time I feel the need to change because I am completely happy with the person that I have become, I am not making the same mistakes over and over again, and I see me good times than bad.  

Keep in mind that “killing yourself” and making small changes in your life are two different things.  We are always evolving but sometimes you have to really let go of everything that is making your life difficult and if it means doing an overhaul then that is what you have to do.

There is no shame in changing who you are.  In fact, it is one of the most enlightening things you can do for yourself.  So, don’t be afraid to let a new you shine while the old you disappears and becomes a distant memory.

Lessons From Daddy

My dad, although he is not my biological father, raised me to the best of his abilities.  He taught me how to ride my bike with no training wheels, helped me pick out my first car, changed the oil on that car, showed me how to change a rediator and how to keep a clean house.  One thing my dad always did was talk to me like an adult.  To this day, I can hold a conversation with my dad or anyone about music, sports, politics, the economy and relationships.

Those conversations with my father taught me the following:

·      Don’t put anyone before myself if they are not willing to do the same for me.

·     Life is short and I better learn to make things happen for myself; no one is going to hand me anything

·      Boys only want one thing (well, this isn’t always a bad thing…lol)

·      Don’t marry a man who can’t fix my car or at least make sure it gets fixed.

·      If a man doesn’t hold the door open for you and treat you like a lady, run the other way.

·      Be a leader, not a follower

·      Learn how to just listen

·      Your family loves you

·      Spend your money wisely

He may not have said all of these things in these exact words, but I certainly got the message.  I hope that all of the fathers that I know are teaching their daughter some of the same lessons and more.  My dad didn’t do too badly with me.  He did the job that another man couldn’t and he is the best daddy I know!

They Are Ex's For A Reason

Men Make Us Stupid!

Pissing On Your Man

Get your mind out of the gutter.  This is not that type of blog post!  But, it got your attention didn't it?

There is a male classmate of mine that I frequently encounter in either the library or our school’s student center working on the computers. Naturally, being the sociable and kind person that I am, I always speak if I have to walk his way. Mind you, I never go out of my way and seek him out to speak to him. Evidently, he has a girlfriend and I didn’t pick up on this until I had said hello to him a few times. She is normally sitting by him but I never really realized it was the same person because I don’t know her and had never seen her before.

Anyway, to make a long story short, every time I say hello to him, she interrupts and throws in her “hello” in before the man can even speak. The first couple of times, she came off as just some strange girl who liked to say hello. I didn’t realize what was really going on until I said hello to him one day and she was nowhere around. So I thought. Out of nowhere she appeared out of breath and sat down next to him quickly staring me down and trying hard to be friendly and say hello. I finally figured it out! This girl has been marking her territory. Pissing on her man! Yep, I said pissing because I don’t think this can be explained any other way.

There is nothing more heart breaking to me than an insecure woman who is blatant about it. We all have our moments of insecurity; some worse than others. Hell, I know I have dated my share of men that were so good-looking that I could have multiple orgasms just looking at them and I would cringe when other chicks would throw themselves at them in my presence. When I was younger, I would pout and have a fit, but as I got older I realized that if that man knows what a good woman he has in me, those chicks can throw it in his face all day and I know what’s really up.

If you have to damn near run and jump on your man and hump his leg to make women stay away from him, trust me that is not a good look. You shouldn’t have to hold on to your man for dear life to make sure he does not stray. If you let a dog roam, he will surely come home (sorry guys, I am not purposely comparing you to dogs, just trying to stick to the theme); especially if he knows what he has there.

We also have to remember that other women can smell insecurity. If they get wind of it, they may just mess with your man with no interest of getting with him just to make you go insane. So, don’t help them out by being “that chick”. Ladies, ultimately pissing on your man will not keep him. What will keep him is a strong woman at his side who knows her worth.

Do You Have Faith?

I never really paid much attention to the concept of “stepping out on faith.”  I think I purposely blocked it out because I thought it was a staple concept among Christians.  And you all know (or maybe not) that I denounced organized religion.  However, what I have realized is that I have been “stepping out on faith” for some time now.

Living and acting on faith does not have anything to do with spiritual beliefs.  It has everything to with the faith you have in yourself.  Do you believe in yourself enough to pursue your dreams and accomplish your goals?

Often times, we go through life scared to make big moves in our lives due to naysayers and limitations that we put on ourselves.  Imagine a world without “haters” and “second thoughts.”  The world would have more successful people and more than 20% of the world’s population would possess 80% of the wealth.  Some of the most successful people in the world became successful by taking risks and sometimes throwing caution to the wind.

What we sometimes forget is that we feel more fulfilled when we try to accomplish a goal rather than not trying at all.  Most of the “should’ve, would’ve, could’ves (I know that is not a word) come from those who are stuck in their own personal purgatory.  They are not satisfied with where they are in life but never grab life by the horns and try to change their circumstances.

In these harsh economic times, it is absurd to just sit back on our laurels and wait for things to happen.  We have to go out and make things happen for ourselves.  Failing does not make you a failure, but never even trying does.

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”- Gail Devers